The 90-Second Rule: How Neuroscience Teaches Us to Let Go of Emotions
Did you know that emotions only last 90 seconds? Neuroscience shows that when we experience a surge of anger, sadness, or anxiety, the actual emotional response in the brain is fleeting. After those 90 seconds, what keeps the feeling alive isn’t the emotion itself—it’s our thoughts.
When we replay the situation, analyze it, or attach meaning to it, we’re essentially feeding the emotion and keeping it at the surface. This is why some feelings seem to linger far longer than they need to.
The empowering truth is that we can learn coping skills to interrupt this cycle. By choosing to let go of the thoughts that fuel the emotion, we give ourselves space to move forward. Later, when we revisit the same situation, we can approach it with a clearer mind—less emotionally charged and more rational.
Practical Takeaway:
- Notice when an emotion arises.
- Remind yourself: This will pass in 90 seconds if I don’t feed it with thoughts.
- Practice coping strategies—deep breathing, grounding exercises, or reframing the situation.
- Return to the thought later, when your perspective is calmer and more balanced.
Teaching these skills to ourselves and others is a powerful way to build resilience. It’s not about suppressing emotions—it’s about giving them their natural time to fade, and then choosing clarity over reactivity.
Book an Appointment with Marie Alice Stout, LSW, LCADC
Book an appointment today with Marie Alice Stout, LSW, LCADC. About Me
I have nearly a decade of experience working in the field of substance use, mental health, and peer support, having begun my career as a Recovery Specialist. I hold a Master of Social Work (MSW) from Fordham University and am both a Licensed Clinical Alcohol and Drug Counselor (LCADC) and Licensed Social Worker (LSW). In addition, I am certified in Mindfulness, C-DBT (Cognitive Dialectical Behavior Therapy), and Telehealth Counseling.
My approach is collaborative, compassionate, and action-oriented. I aim to help each individual uncover their potential, overcome fears, and navigate life’s challenges through a blend of evidence-based techniques and supportive guidance. Together, we will create a personalized action plan to strengthen coping skills, communication, emotional regulation, and self-advocacy.
I believe that therapy is not just about healing—it’s about growth. Whether you’re working through addiction, mental health concerns, difficult relationships, or a negative self-image, I provide a safe and non-judgmental space to help you develop insight, resilience, and tools for lasting change. My mission is to help you move forward with confidence and reclaim your inner strength.
Book your appointment with Marie Alice, today!
HIRING for Outpatient Therapists in Parsippany, NJ
Outpatient Therapist
Step Up Family Services is seeking a clinically licensed therapist (LCSW or LPC) to join our growing outpatient counseling team for a varied caseload of children through adults. Part time -full time caseloads available and hours are flexible based on your availability. Experience in working with children and adolescents is necessary. Days, evening and weekend hours available. Not required to get your own referrals.
Therapist may provide both in person sessions and Telehealth sessions.
Job Types: Full-time, Part-time
Pay: $50.00 - $65.00 per hour
Expected hours: 10 – 20 per week
Benefits:
Flexible schedule
Paid time off
Work Location: Hybrid remote in Parsippany, NJ 07054
Please click here to APPLY
Family Court and the Unethical Practices
What secrets are family courts hiding???
Dr. David Timpanaro, CEO of Step Up Family Services connects with Catherine Jones to discuss Family Court. Dr. Timpanaro has been involved in this area of the field for over two decades.
It starts in a courtroom with no cameras, no public transcripts, and no clear accountability. But, behind those closed doors, a quiet pattern is repeating itself. According to Dr. David Timpanaro, the CEO of Step Up Family Services in New Jersey, in recent years, mothers are losing custody, and “experts” are profiting. And children? Well, they’re caught in the middle of it all. Welcome to family court.
Please read and share if it hits for you:
Behind Closed Doors: What Family Court Doesn’t Want You to See
It starts in a courtroom with no cameras, no public transcripts, and no clear accountability. But, behind those closed doors, a quiet pattern is repeating itself. According to Dr. David Timpanaro, the CEO of Step Up Family Services in New Jersey, in recent years, mothers are losing custody, and “experts” are profiting. And children? Well, they’re caught in the middle of it all. Welcome to family court.
A System Built on Silence
Timpanaro says he’s been in the family court trenches for decades, as a professional working within the system. He holds a PhD in multidisciplinary human services, with a focus on what he calls “practices around children and families.” His job is to create what he describes as “a wraparound plan to ensure the success of that child and family,” pulling together court systems, therapists, schools, and psychiatrists who, he explains, often don’t communicate at all. But the courts are not working as planned. And he says that what he has seen from inside that system is deeply troubling.
“You have children and families that have court involvement, psychiatry involvement, psychology involvement, school and IEP involvement, private therapist involvement, and none of these entities talk to each other,” he says.
In fact, he says he has noticed a concerning and recurring issue in the past decade: the courts have turned against mothers. And that breakdown opens the door for unethical practices, often hurting the very people the system is designed to protect. What may seem shocking to the public is just routine in the family court world, he says. One example is a case unfolding in Jesup, Georgia, where a child has been removed from her mother’s home completely, without due process.
“It’s not unusual,” Timpanaro says.
Experts Without Oversight
Timpanaro believes real change must include transparency, retraining, and oversight. Because the stakes are too high. “These professionals thrive in a system that’s fractured,” he says.
“They can manipulate things, and there’s almost no oversight. Judges rely too heavily on their word, even when those so-called experts are acting unethically. That’s dangerous.”
The emotional toll runs deep, not only for the parents caught in the system, but for the children whose futures hang in the balance.
“When I entered family court, I believed it was about truth and justice. I quickly learned it was about business transactions,” Tina Swithin, founder of the advocacy organization One Mom’s Battle, writes. “To the system, your life is another case file, another hearing, another line on the docket. It is inhumane and calloused. … Expecting justice or fairness in family court is like searching for an avocado in a hardware store.”
The Rise of the Pink Sign Protest
Still, there is hope. Across the country, concerned mothers and other victims of family court are stepping out of the shadows. They’re showing up with hot pink signs and undeniable stories.
“There’s hope in that,” he says. “Once people start pulling back the curtain, it’s hard to unsee what’s really going on.”
The signs are part of a growing national, grassroots movement to bring awareness to the country’s family court system. Recently featured on the WPLG’s World News segment, the hot pink sign movement started with a handful of mothers demanding visibility and has since grown into a national symbol of protest and survival.
The Pink Signs That Say Everything
From front yards in Georgia to sidewalks in California, the hot pink signs with children’s photos are raising awareness, one family court case at a time. Much like the pink ribbons for breast cancer awareness, these signs are turning a spotlight on a crisis that has long remained hidden for years. Each sign carries the message that something is deeply wrong inside the nation’s family court system.
Timpanaro and a growing network of advocates believe these signs will awaken the public to the need for urgent reform. They see them as the start of a national reckoning. The hot pink signs force the country to ask a long-overdue question: what happens when the system meant to protect families becomes the one that tears them apart?
Collaborating for successful ABA and Mental Health goals!
The Power of Wraparound Collaboration: Transforming Mental Health and ABA Services
At Step Up Family Services, we believe that healing and growth don’t happen in isolation—they happen through connection. That’s why we champion the wraparound model: a collaborative, family-centered approach that brings together a team of professionals, caregivers, and community supports to create a unified plan for each individual’s success.
What Is Wraparound Collaboration?
Wraparound collaboration is more than just a buzzword—it’s a structured, holistic approach to care. Originally developed to support children with complex emotional and behavioral needs, the wraparound model ensures that all service providers—mental health therapists, ABA specialists, educators, and family members—work together toward shared goals 1.
At the heart of this model is a dedicated care coordinator who ensures communication flows smoothly between all parties. This person helps align strategies, track progress, and adjust plans as needed, ensuring that the individual’s needs remain front and center.
Why It Matters in Mental Health and ABA Services
Mental health and ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) services often intersect, especially for children and adolescents with autism, ADHD, anxiety, or trauma-related challenges. Without collaboration, these services can become fragmented—leading to confusion, inconsistent strategies, and missed opportunities for progress.
Here’s how wraparound collaboration makes a difference:
Consistency Across Environments: When ABA therapists and mental health counselors share insights and strategies, children receive consistent support at home, in school, and in therapy sessions.
Family Empowerment: Families are not just passive recipients of care—they’re active members of the team. Wraparound planning ensures their voices are heard and their strengths are leveraged.
Faster, More Sustainable Progress: Unified goals and coordinated interventions reduce redundancy and accelerate growth.
Crisis Prevention and Response: With a team in place, families have a built-in support network ready to respond to challenges before they escalate.
Real Impact, Real Stories
At Step Up Family Services, we’ve seen firsthand how wraparound collaboration transforms lives. Whether it’s a child learning to regulate emotions more effectively or a family finally feeling supported and understood, the outcomes speak for themselves.
One parent shared:
“My daughter currently receives services through Step Up and we could not be happier. They have gone above and beyond and consistently exceed our expectations. My team is amazing and I cannot thank them enough for their continued support.”
Our Commitment to Holistic, Family-Centered Care
With locations in Brick and Parsippany, NJ, our team of Board Certified Behavior Analysts (BCBAs), licensed therapists, and care coordinators are dedicated to providing personalized, wraparound support. Whether through in-home ABA therapy, outpatient counseling, or diagnostic services, we’re here to walk alongside you—every step of the way.
Ready to experience the difference of wraparound care?
Contact us today to learn how we can build a support team tailored to your family’s needs.
Wraparound The World!
This conference was really eye-opening, Jay and the Wraparound the World crew are the foundation of all human service. (#mentalhealth, #behavioralhealth, #psychiatricservices, #schools) #WRAPAROUND we are at a pivotal moment in where we can continue down the path of closing JDCs through wraparound or revert back to case management and increase recidivism again.
While at the 2025 National Wraparound Conference, I was given the opportunity to present how hashtag#wraparound reduces hashtag#recidivism and can reduce workload through shared responsibilities. Please see my slides by scanning this QR Code.
***NO WAITLIST ASSESSMENTS***
Step Up Family Services for your Mental and Behavioral Health Assessment needs!Step Up Family Services for your Mental and Behavioral Health No waiting Assessments for your needs!
Why Trauma-Focused Therapy is Key to Overcoming Trauma
If you've experienced trauma, you know it’s not something you can simply “get over.” Trauma can leave deep emotional scars that show up in your daily life, often in ways you might not expect. From anxiety and flashbacks to trouble in relationships or even physical symptoms, trauma has a way of affecting you long after the event. That’s where trauma-focused therapy can help you heal.
In this blog post, we'll explore how trauma-focused therapy can be a crucial step toward finding relief and regaining control over your life.
What is Trauma-Focused Therapy?
Trauma-focused therapy is a specialized approach that recognizes the impact of trauma on a person's mental, emotional, and physical well-being. This therapy is designed to help individuals process and heal from traumatic experiences, such as abuse, neglect, violence, accidents, or natural disasters.
How Does Trauma-Focused Therapy Differ from Traditional Therapy?
Trauma-focused therapy differs from traditional therapy in its specialized focus on addressing trauma and its effects. While traditional therapy may address trauma as it arises, it does not solely focus on it as the primary concern.
In contrast, trauma-focused therapy is specifically designed to address the impact of trauma and help you process and heal from it. Trauma-focused therapy also differs from traditional therapy in its structured and evidence-based approach. It typically involves a specific treatment plan and techniques that have been proven effective for treating trauma.
What are the Different Approaches to Trauma-Focused Therapy?
There are various approaches to trauma-focused therapy, but some common ones include:
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT focuses on identifying and changing negative thoughts and behaviors.
In trauma-focused CBT, the therapist will help you understand how your traumatic experience has affected your thoughts and behaviors and teach you coping skills to manage them.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): EMDR uses eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation to help you process and make sense of traumatic memories.
This approach aims to reduce the power of traumatic memories and help you develop more adaptive thoughts and behaviors.
Narrative Therapy: This approach involves exploring your personal story and how trauma has impacted it.
The therapist helps you reframe your narrative and develop a more positive and empowering understanding of your experience.
Healing from Trauma: By addressing and processing traumatic experiences, you can find relief from symptoms and move towards a healthier and happier life.
Improved Coping Skills: Trauma therapy can also help you develop coping skills to manage difficult emotions and triggers related to your trauma.
This can allow you to regulate your emotions better and function more effectively in your daily lives.
Increased Self-Awareness: Through trauma therapy, you can gain a deeper understanding of how your traumatic experiences have affected you and your behaviors.
This self-awareness can lead to personal growth and a better understanding of oneself.
Better Relationships: Trauma therapy can also improve your relationships by helping you overcome the barriers that trauma may have created.
This can lead to stronger and more fulfilling connections with others.
Improved Overall Well-Being: Addressing and healing from trauma may improve your physical and mental health, increase self-esteem, and a greater sense of control over your life.
There’s Hope with Trauma Therapy in Parsippany, NJ
Healing from trauma can be tough, but you don’t have to go through it alone. At Step Up Family Services, we believe you can regain control over your life. Our caring team supports you and gives you a safe place to work through your experiences at your own pace. Schedule an appointment with us today.
